Runaway rich girl Desiree Dean is nobody's condiment. So when she discovers her brand-new Chinese character tatto actually reads "with hot sauce", she confronts the artist at his parlor - and accidentally ignites an explosion that blows away half the block. It also leaves the injured Desiree in the care of a notorious lesbian clam pirate (yes, you read it right), and all of Cedar Key in an uproar. But that's the least of the problems facing the sleepy Gulf Coast fishing village. Local real estate hog Stevie McCracken is trying to get his extensive property - recently leveled, thanks to Desiree - re-zoned so he can put up a casino that would make him rich, everyone else miserable, and the island a tourist-trap neon nightmare. Now Desiree - along with Cedar Key's slightly eccentric residents and a slightly alcoholic tabloid reporter - will have to fight like hell to protect the town from big money, corrupt politics, and other scourges of civilization.